Dr Sidney Wang Contacts Paris Hilton in Jail

Resident oracle Dr Sidney Wang, used his psychic powers earlier today for a glimpse into a day in the life of jailbird Paris Hilton. Dr Wang reports that Miss Hilton has had "good days and bad days", but has resigned herself to finishing her sentence with dignity. Dr Wang gazed into The Great Bubble Wall in his tank as a crystal ball type device to obtain actual visions of Paris Hilton in prison.

At first view, Dr Wang saw a despondent Hilton sitting in her cell, rocking back and forth. Her hair was ragged and uncombed. Dr Wang's voice finally reached her jail cell, and Paris acknowledged his greeting. "I am much better than when you last contacted me, Dr Wang" Miss Hilton said. "I was under stress and strain when you channeled my great grandfather, Conrad Hilton and I was unable to speak calmly", Paris said. Dr Wang then offered to channel Paris' great grandfather once again and she readily agreed.

Several hours later, Dr Wang settled into a very tranquil state, at the bottom of his fish tank, meditated briefly and altered his state of consciousness to allow the psychic medium to take effect. Within minutes, he began receiving signals of energy from the spirit world. "Hello?..." said Dr Wang..."Hello? Have I reached anyone?" Suddenly a voice boomed: "It is I, Conrad Hilton, founder of the Hilton Hotel chain. Let me speak with my great-granddaughter Paris Hilton". Dr Wang's fins fluttered briefly as he attempted to recontact Paris in prison. When Dr Wang reached Paris, she was already performing her prison duties, which at the moment involved cleaning toilets.
Dr Wang called out: "Paris, Paris I have contacted your great-grandfather Conrad and have a direct message for you". Paris put down her toilet brush and said: Yes Dr Wang, go ahead"
Dr Wang's body shuttered once again and reopened his psychic medium to the spirit of Conrad. Mr Hilton began to address his great-granddaughter: "Paris, you little spoiled brat. When you are released from prison, I want you to continue scrubbing toilets. You have many more important life lessons yet to learn. When you get out of jail, I want you to pick up dog poo in public parks and wear polyester blouses from WalMart". Paris listened to the spirit of her great grandfather intently, as drops of water dripped from her toilet brush. Her eyes filled with tears, but she bravely replied: "Yes, grand-daddy Hilton". With that, Dr Wang's connection to the other world was lost, and Dr Wang's body shuttered once again. He told Paris, "I'm afraid that's it, I've lost all contact".

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Paris thanked Dr Wang and resumed her prison work, humming "Amazing Grace" as she scrubbed the toilet bowl, yet at peace that she had finally spoken to the great Conrad Hilton once again.