Wisdom Wednesdays: Featuring Dr Sidney Wang

"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, Dr Sidney Wang. Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.

This week's e-mail comes from a reader named Maggie S. from Tallahassee FL. Maggie writes:

Dear Dr Wang,

I have been single for a very long time and am nearly 30 years old. Try as I might, I have been unable to meet a decent guy who is single, employed, educated or straight. I have tried new hobbies, going to church, online dating and the bar scene. I even took a part-time job as a waitress in the hopes that I will increase my chances of meeting someone. I can’t afford to see a psychic in person, so I am hoping you can tell me what the future holds for me.

Oh-so-Lonely,
Maggie S.

Dr Wang responds: Dear Maggie,

First of all, keep in mind that happiness must not defined by being in a relationship. You must first seek inner peace with yourself before you set out on a relationship. I have consulted The Great Bubble Wall in my tank and see that your future has some interesting developments.

Your instinct about working as a waitress was a good one; however I see that you are working at the wrong restaurant. The “Crimson Crustacean” (I dare not state its real name) is a bad match for you. For obvious reasons I am vehemently against people eating seafood. You need to leave the Crimson Crustacean at once and go to work for a chain steak house nearby instead. There you will meet a man who will become enamored with you. You will be able to recognize him by his ears, which are set unevenly on his head. Although his ears are offset, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head when you look at him, you'll never know the difference. Before you begin dating this person, spend some time getting to know yourself and you will be ready to find love.

In the meantime, keep swimming upstream,
-Dr Wang