Ever done anything so stupid that the next day you find yourself feeling dumb as a box of rocks and asking yourself: "What was I thinking?" Well just the other day, I saw a woman who resembled the wife of an old buddy of mine. Without warning, my mind was flooded with memories of a night gone wrong. Its not something I would write about here, but suffice to say it was one of those nights where I just wasn't thinking. How is it we can get into things and not realize the implications of our conversations/actions until it is too late? I remember it clearly. We were having a long conversation and somehow I got it wrong. I misinterpreted what my friend was saying and never stopped to "visually check" for cues, like nodding head in agreement, or even a "yup" back at me. Before you know it I made an assumption and started to run my mouth, even talking about his wife-inadvertently making my friend uncomfortable without knowing it. Where was my mind? How could I have been so clueless and non-observant? I've always considered myself to be much more astute and self-aware. But not that time. I ran into my friend the next day and had a polite, but forced conversation. I've never spoken to him since. I've spent a long time "beating myself up" over my stupidity of that night, and know that it is probably best just forgotten. So I've written this post as a cathartic exorcism of sorts. Hey, my conscience seems to have cleared up...I feel better already. But oh, why was I so stupid???-Rick Rockhill
First of all, you're being too hard on yourself, and secondly, you happen to be human Mr. Perfectionist. Alls you can do is apologize if you have to, and move on dude. It'll be okay.
ReplyDeleteGuess what, you're gonna do something stupid again in your life most likely. It just happens. I f*ck up all the time! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!
oh Rick we all stick our foot in our mouth at one time or another....hasnt your friend ever heard to err is human, to forgive is devine???dont be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteHah! That old problem of "open mouth, insert foot" has visited me on numerous occasions. Somehow though, I find it really comforting to know I'm not alone but rather, I'm with some pretty good company, Rick. YOU! Makes me feel mucho better that way. I hate being the only one who does dumb things like that ya know.
ReplyDeleteI think it's called "Being Human". :) I'm sorry that you lost a friend over it though.
ReplyDeleteAnd also-you're so not stupid!!!!
I am the queen of "open mouth insert foot" On my wedding rehearsal night I told my maid of honor that her boyfriend was a loser, and then on my wedding day I had to deal with him all day.
ReplyDeletewe all have those moments. own those feelings and do it different the next time the situation pops up again.
ReplyDeleteIt's all a part of life, hon...Big hugs!
We ALL make dumb mistakes and say the wrong thing. Even the most eloquent, compassionate person can get caught up in a moment and say the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteIt IS about being human, Rick, and I think that more sensitive we usually are to people's feelings and reactions, the worse it feels when we misfire. We have to believe that we've done all we can to put the damage right, but we also need to show ourselves some compassion, too.
We are NOT perfect!
Been there. Where is that trap door when you need one? Forgive yourself, though. In the scheme of things, it's just not that important. Instead, remember the multitude of kindnesses you've extended to others. :)
ReplyDeletei think we can all identify with this. i don't know anyone who hasn't had a moment like this. as long as you can say you learned a lesson and have not repeated the mistake i don't think you can ask any more of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mags, It's all part of being human. Even the best and brightest among us have those moments.
ReplyDeleteI can break out in an instant cold sweat just thinking about some of the predicaments my mouth has got me. It is comforting to see that even you, Rick, can commit such faux pas.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, "visual clues," what's that? I just steamroller in there.
ReplyDeleteLoL!
It's hard when the stupidity causes you to be so uncomfortable you lose a friend because of it. But I honestly believe there is a reason for everything. So the best advice I can give myself is to move on. And remember, there are no mistakes in life, only lessons learned.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up, Rick. You're human, just like the rest of us. We all wish we could take back words and actions.
ReplyDeleteHuman nature, only you will dwell on it.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's one of those situations that teach us the age old lessons of life.
ReplyDeleteIf someone can say they've never done something stupid in their life, well, they just did.
I hope your emotional release helped you ease the memory of that night.
But don't be too hard on yourself. we've all had those moments of what the heck?
E
I have room in my mouth for both feet and that is where you will usually find them :)
ReplyDeleteDon't fret too much, Rick. To err is human after all.
I think we have all done that. well...of course not me...hehe :)
ReplyDeleteno, just human nature, we are not perfect. At least you have broken through a barrier of some sort.
give yourself a break. xo
Yep, I concur: human nature.We all stumble there every now and then despite best of intensions. Part of the learning curve and you are never too old to learn.
ReplyDeleteKnowing that YOU can make a gaff makes me forgiving of others. Thank you for sharing this-- really, thank you.
ReplyDeleteBang your head into the wall, but you may not beat yourself up over this, OK?
Your friend has spoken to you more than I have, and I know you are a thoughtful speaker. He should have forgiven you.
ReplyDeleteSo it's his problem, and you can let it go.
I will never forget the one time I snapped at my old roomie. I even shocked myself, and have since reminded her of it twice and how bad I felt, and she doesn't even remember!