Wisdom Wednesday: Featuring Dr Sidney Wang

DR WANG'S CHINESE FUNNY PROVERBS

This week Dr Wang is presenting a combination of wisdom and humor with a few funny proverbs. Regular readers may recall that Dr Wang has written two prior posts with Chinese Funny Fortunes here and here. He also posted tips on how to speak Chinese. So without further delay, here is this week's Wisdom Wednesday post, hopefully to provide you with a chuckle and some helpful advice alond the way...

* Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

* Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

* You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

* Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

keep swimming upstream,

-Dr Wang **************************************************************** "Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, psychic betta fish "Dr Sidney Wang". Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.

Learn to Speak Chinese with Dr Wang

With the Chinese New Year fast approaching, Dr Sidney Wang has prepared an easy, introductory lesson for you to learn to speak a few basic Chinese phrases in just five minutes. Dr Wang suggests that you speak the phonetics translation aloud to help you understand these phrases.
Phonetics English

ENGLISH to CHINESE

Hello: knee how

What is your name?: neen gway shing

Yes: shr

No: boo shr

Thank you: sheh sheh

You are welcome: boo yong sheh

I don't understand: wore ting boo dong

And here are some other useful phrases: (THESE PHRASES BELOW NEED TO BE READ ALOUD)

Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man - Dum Gai

Small horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Young Man Whose name I forgot.- Sum Yung Gai

Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table. - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift. - Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here. - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution. - Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet. - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? - Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

You are not very bright. - Yu So Dum

I got this for free. - Ai No Pei

I am not guilty. - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a awhile longer. - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week. - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived. - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight. Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

What is that smell? - Yu Stin Ki Pu

The Saturday Seven: Chinese Funny Fortunes, Part 2

This week's post is co-written by Dr Sidney Wang, our psychic betta fish. I was reviewing Google Analytics reports for my blog and was surprised to see that an old "Saturday Seven" post back on May 12th is the most popular post to date. The topic that continues to attract a fair amount of traffic, nearly 7 months later was "Chinese Funny Fortunes". Since I aim to please, I decided to prepare a follow up to that ever popular post. Which brings me to another scintillating edition of:

The Saturday Seven: Chinese Funny Fortunes, Part 2 presented by Dr Wang

#1 Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

#2. Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion

#3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag

#4. A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

#5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ

#6. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

#7. Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases

Bonus Entry: When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt. PS- that man in the photo above left is NOT me!

OK, OK I admit, most of them are a bit juvenile, but they do make me laugh. Happy Saturday!

-Rick Rockhill

The Saturday Seven: Chinese Funny Fortunes and Prudent Proverbs

Today's post is co-presented by Dr Sidney Wang, our psychic betta fish. Last night I was craving Chinese food, and wasn't in the mood for the crowds at Wang's In the Desert, so I decided to try The Great Wall restaurant in downtown Palm Springs. I had never set foot in the place, so I was somewhat leery. My usual measuring stick to evaluate an unknown Chinese restaurant is to look around at how many Chinese people are dining. (It's always a good sign if Chinese customers will eat the food!) However, as I looked around, there was not one Chinese person in the place, other than the waiters. It occurred to me that I've never really seen ANY Chinese people in Palm Springs. So I began wondering just where then, did these Chinese waiters come from? Or were they really not Chinese at all, and just wearing fake "Fu Manchu" moustaches to fool me?
My fortune cookie inspired me to write another scintillating edition of the Saturday Seven: Chinese Funny Fortunes and Prudent Proverbs. However, in an effort to offer some redeeming value to reading this blog, this week I've decided to include two sets of Saturday Seven lists ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE to you, the reader!

The Saturday Seven: "Chinese Funny Fortunes" Presented by Dr Sidney Wang
1. Man who fart in church sit in own pew

2. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

3. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired

4. Passionate kiss like spider web - soon lead to undoing of fly.

5. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

6. There is no mistake so great as that of being always right

7. Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy

Bonus Funny Fortune: Man with one chopstick go hungry


And now for some redeeming value to you...
The Saturday Seven: Chinese Prudent Proverbs
1. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever

2. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood


3. A day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy

4. The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher

5. You can hardly make a friend in a year, but you can easily offend one in an hour.

6. Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.

7. The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher

Bonus Proverb: A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man made perfect without trials

-Rick Rockhill
chinese fortune cookies