Friday, June 13, 2008

Dr Wang's Second Annual Palm Springs Psychic Summit, Final Day

Dr Wang's Palm Springs Psychic Summit has come to a close, after two full days of meetings and countless predictions. The annual summit assembled a veritable who's who of top psychics and fortune tellers of the ages. While the exact location was kept a secret for security reasons, local residents reported seeing strange light emissions and unusual cloud formations over the mountain retreat house where the psychics were believed to be meeting. Due to daytime temperatures in Palm Springs close to 100 degrees, the psychic sages met primarily during the evenings and slept during the peak heat hours of the day.

above: Special psychic guest Mr Ayedunno joined the distinguished group late in the evening. He presented his latest theories on communicating with the hereafter. Following his speech the group held a seance and attempted to contact former Palm Springs resident and actress Lucille Ball. There was an extended period of silence, when only the flicker of the candles could barely be heard. Madame Wanda and Professor Trelawney gripped hands tightly as they concentrated on a box of chocolate covered cherries to summon the spirit of the great comedic actress. Suddenly, Professor Marvel started to twitch and shudder, and then Miss Solitaire's eyes shot open wide. She began speaking remarkably like the late actress and asked the group "What do you want?" Miss Cleo shouted " We Love You Lucy, we're here in Palm Springs thinking of you". The spirit of Lucille Ball replied in a deep, gravel like voice: "Ohhhh I love Palm Springs, I had some wonderful times there." The Amazing Zoltar asked Miss Ball if she had any secrets to reveal. Lucy replied: "Yes, part of my fortune is still hidden in one of my houses in Palm Springs, it is buried in the garden near the pool along with my wig collection". Dr Wang was swimming swiftly in his tank and attempted telepathic communication with the spirit of Lucy, but suddenly the channel was closed, and she was gone. Mr Ayedunno tried to reconnect with Lucy but with no luck. Miss Solitaire, who had been channeling Lucy, regained her consciousness and was unaware of what occurred, but kept asking the group if they thought she would look better as a red head. With the success of this contact from beyond the grave, Dr Wang declared the summit a success. The group made a few final predictions before adjourning. Their predictions are as follows:
1. Former President Bill Clinton will become spokesman for Viagra, with Bob Dole
2. Michael Jackson will go on tour with his sisters Janet and LaToya, performing the songs of the Supremes.
3. Singer Fergie and Duchess of York Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson will record a song together called: "Livin like a Princess"
4. Canada will declare war on the United States after we issue an embargo on Maple Syrup.
5. Johnny Depp, dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, will lobby the French government to establish national "Talk Like a Pirate Day" .
6. The "I Love Lucy" show would be remade, starring actress Lucy Liu and Latin heartthrob singer Ricky Martin.
Dr Wang's Palm Springs Psychic Summit may be over for this year, but each of the esteemed psychics pledged to remain in close contact throughout the year-even if telepathically.

4 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i sure am glad michael will be touring with toyota again and i love talk like a pirate day! arggg...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

kenju said...

I LOVE all the predictions, but I have to ask:

Has Bill's cigar gotten damp enough to sag?

Will Diana lend Michael her costumes?

Desert Songbird said...

Fascinating predictions. I wait breathlessly to see if Johnny Depp's lobbying pays off.

Olivia said...

The third Fergie is Alex Ferguson, coach of Manchester United. Maybe the two female Fergies can sing at halftime.

And did you know the Jacksons have bought a house in Devon?

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