Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Wisdom Wednesdays: Featuring Dr Sidney Wang

ASK DR WANG, the psychic betta fish

This week's e-mail is from Elana from Logan, Utah.

Dear Dr Wang,

I have a crush on a cashier named Nelson that I met from the 7-11 store nearby. Nelson usually works mornings and has the sweetest smile on his face when I go in for my morning coffee. I think Nelson likes me because when I went in for a pack of cigarettes with my coffee, he asked me my name and invited me to dinner soon. Can you tell me if Nelson likes me and if I have a chance with him?

In love with a cashier,

Elana

Dr Wang responds: Dear Elana,

I am fascinated by your e-mail and decided to move it up ahead of several other e-mails that I have received. I consulted The Great Bubble Wall to learn more about you and this fellow named Nelson. I discovered that you have a co-dependent personality and should be cautious of Nelson. I learned that Nelson still lives with his parents. His father is a criminal, in my opinion. He is a fisherman who captures poor unsuspecting creatures of the sea and sells them. My recommendation is that you avoid Nelson and his father. To make matters worse, his mother has an affinity for deep frying fish sticks for Nelson each night.

I do not see a future between you and Nelson, in fact you should avoid having dinner with him and his parent especially.

Keep swimming upstream,

-Dr Wang

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"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, psychic betta fish "Dr Sidney Wang". Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.

9 comments:

captain corky said...

Maybe Nelson would surve some of those 2 pound Buritos they sell out 7-11. That would make for an excellent dinner.

Diane J Standiford said...

Dr.Wang: I bow to you.

Desert Songbird said...

Poor Nelson - done in by Gorton's before he's had a chance.

jackie said...

lucky for Elana that she consulted the great Dr Wang...I mean, to find out ahead of time that this guy has murderous parents, she is lucky to know.

Marie said...

A fisherman in Utah?

minijonb said...

You've saved us Dr. Wang! Good thing we will never have to see Elana getting it on in the beverage isle of that 7-11.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Poor Elana! The great bubble wall knows all.

Canadian flake said...

oh Dr Wang...how would the world continue to function without your guidance and wisdom...lmao.

Dave said...

I just had to return here to read more of your Dr. Wang wisdom! It takes a special person to have such a dry wit like yours! I like your style! :-)

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