Dear Dr Wang,
My boyfriend of 6 years just asked me to marry him. I am excited because I do love him. However he has a few skeletons in his closet that keep me awake at night. Before we met, he started modeling nude for extra money. Eventually it led to him working as a nude dancer at a ladies nightclub. He makes very good money at it and still works at the club a few nights a week. I’ve seen him dance and he is very popular at the club. I’m not a jealous person but I must admit that it makes me a little uncomfortable. I’ve asked him how long he plans to continue with his nude dancing, and he says he likes the extra money, but also enjoys being nude on stage. I’ve never told my family about his part-time job, but if we are going to be married I think he should stop working at the club before my family finds out. Am I overreacting? Should I let him continue dancing or will it lead to bad things down the road.
DarleneDr Wang responds: Dear Darlene,
First of all, congratulations on your engagement. This is indeed an interesting situation you present. I of course, am nude all the time, swimming quite happily in the buff in my deluxe tank...but I digress...
I have consulted The Great Bubble Wall to see what your future holds. You must not force your fiance to quit his nude dancing job at this time. Accept him for who he is and allow him to enjoy his hobby. I suggest that you open a joint savings account for his tip money from nude dancing. Set a financial goal to help pay for your wedding, and when he has saved enough he could potentially quit his nude dancing then.
However, as the bubbles in my tank clear I see that there is an unveiling in the works. A member of your family is about to see more of your fiance than you intended. Someone with blonde hair and low-set ears is planning to visit the very same nightclub where your fiance works. It will be a scandal because this person from your family is a man. Regardless, your secret will be out to the entire family within ten days time. You must brace yourself for this unveiling, grin and bare it.
In the meantime, keep swimming upstream,
"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, Dr Sidney Wang. Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.