This week's letter is from Gwen from Chattahoochee, FL. Gwen writes:
Dear Dr Wang,
My identical twin sister Jen and I have always been very close. When we were growing up we would always confuse our parents and trick them into thinking one of us was the other. We have carried on this charade in our adult lives in a variety of ways, including routinely showing up at each other's jobs. We are both waitresses, but at different restaurants, and have done this without any of our co-workers catching on. This has been mostly a harmless game, until recently when we started playing this same game with "Doug", a guy that I've been dating. At first it was just for fun, but last Saturday when Doug and I went out, he started telling me how much he enjoyed our "intimate encounter" the prior night. The problem was that it was a night that my sister went out with him, pretending to be me. Doug thought he was with me, and had no idea that it was Jen. I was so angry with Jen for going that far with Doug that I confronted her when I got home. We ended up fighting about it and now we're not talking. I don't want Doug to know that Jen and I were playing this joke on him, and certainly don't want him to know that he slept with my sister when he thought it was me. However, I want to have a serious relationship with Doug but wonder if it is still possible. What would he think of me if he found out? I am very upset about this situation and want to know what to do. Should I tell Doug? If I do, how will he react to the news? Will my sister and I ever become close again?
Double Trouble, Gwen (& Jen),
Dr Wang responds: Dear Gwen,
You have been playing with fire and now you've finally been burned. This is quite a tangled web you have woven for yourselves. It is a "whale" of a problem. Ah, OK enough of the metaphors. First, you must immediately cease this dangerous and immature game you have been playing. Your behavior has been deceptive and irresponsible. Now that I've finished lecturing you, I shall answer your questions. I've consulted The Great Bubble Wall for clarity of thought to your situation. The flow of bubbles indicate that Doug has the potential to play a positive role in your life. You must meet him within two days and come clean. He will react in disbelief at first, so you should have this conversation in a place where Jen can meet you for part of it. You must both apologize to Doug and explain that it was a game "gone wrong". Be clear that this is your relationship and you do not want to share it with Jen. It is important that you say this in the presence of Jen, so there are clear rules going forward. Doug will forgive you, but will insist on some method to identify you in the future. Perhaps you should consider a discreet tattoo of a betta fish? (I would be honored). On future dates, avoid ordering things like double cheeseburgers or double-chocolate layer cake, it will only confuse Doug.
The Great Bubble Wall indicates a further interesting development. Doug has a younger brother named Thomas who is about to relocate to Florida from the Minneapolis/St Paul area. You should introduce Thomas to your sister Jen, for they will find a connection to each other. Also November 22nd looks like a significant date for the four of you, mark it on your personal calendar and watch what happens.
In the meantime, keep swimming upstream,
"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, psychic betta fish "Dr Sidney Wang". Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.