Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Wisdom Wednesdays: Featuring Dr Sidney Wang

ASK DR WANG, the psychic betta fish

This week's e-mail is from Amy Q in Dowagiac, Michigan. Amy writes:

Dear Dr Wang,

This winter has really taken it out of me. I've had a cold on-and-off all season. I'm exhausted from having sore throats, coughing and blowing my nose. When will the bad weather end? And will I ever get rid of this cold?

Thanks,

Amy Q

Dr Wang responds: Dear Amy,

Some time ago, back when I was swimming freely in the great open waters, I had a fellow fishy friend named Freddie who constantly complained about the temperature of the water. One day I finally got fed up and told Freddie to find a new place to swim. So for my first piece of advice, I don't need to use my psychic abilities: If you really can't stand the winters, do something about it and move to a warmer climate. I'm not a meteorologist so I have no clue about what the weather will do and when.

However, I did consult The Great Bubble Wall, just beyond the new palm trees in my tank- for insights into the string of colds you mentioned. The pattern of the bubbles indicate that you are largely responsible for the state of your health. I see that you have a habit of chewing on your hair, probably a nervous habit, but I should tell you that there are all sorts of germs in your hair that you continue to place in your mouth. So stop being a hair-chewer and become a hair hopper instead. Pile your hair up as high as it will go and use loads of hair spray to hold it in place so you are not tempted to drag strands into your mouth. Once you do this, you will find that your colds will subside. One side benefit is that while you are out buying a can of hairspray you will meet a midget hairstylist who can do wonders with your hair. You will have to sit on the floor, "Indian-style" since he is so short, but you won't regret it. Good luck.

keep swimming upstream,

-Dr Wang

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"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, psychic betta fish "Dr Sidney Wang". Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.

7 comments:

Tod said...

Lol! Good post. Now you make me wish that I still had hair just so I could have a midget hairstylist too.

Mone said...

hahaha, I used to tell my girl always that there were germs on her hair while she was chewing on it... well, she was three back then but it helped !

Mona said...

I always like your Dr wang posts! :)

What are you doing with Ellen DeGeneres? do I see you on one of her episodes soon? We are having them aired here these days :D

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

He he he!

Maybe the hairspray will help kill the germs.

Olivia said...

I guess Amy Winehouse doesn't have many colds then?

Canadian flake said...

Hmmmmmmm normally I am very impressed with your advice oh Great one...but I think you are way off this week..maybe someone needs to clean your tank??? lol

Marlupe said...

I find hair chewing to be so gross. I broke myself of the habit when I was 14 and glad I did.

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