Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wisdom Wednesdays: Featuring Dr Sidney Wang

ASK DR WANG, the psychic betta fish

This week's e-mail is from Matilda in Big Bone, Kentucky. Matilda writes:

Dear Dr Wang,

I'd like to start off by saying how nice it is that you offer a free service like this for readers. My dream is to become a ranger for the National Park Service someday. Right now, I live in a trailer in Big Bone Lick State Park and have been giving tours of the sites where the mammoth bones and fossils were originally discovered. I like my job and have learned a lot in the past ten years, but feel it is time to get out of Boone Country and head west. Should I pack my trailer and drive westward? What will I find if I do? Where should I go? Any help would be appreciated.

Matilda, Big Bone, Kentucky

Dr Wang responds: Dear Matilda,

I must admit, when I first read your e-mail I thought this may have been a joke. I've never heard of Big Bone Kentucky and had to consult The Great Bubble Wall to determine the legitimacy of your letter. As I meditate on your e-mail, the bubbles are flowing the shape of a Woolly Mammoth so your story appears to be true. You are definitely at a cross-roads in your life and are ready to pick up and move on. Ten years is a long time to spend in any job; I agree that the time has come for you to gain new experiences and apply your talents elsewhere. At the next full moon, you should hop in your trailer and drive to Arizona. There is a fantastic job opportunity awaiting you in the greater Phoenix area. When you arrive in Phoenix, visit the Saguaro National Park, where you will encounter a native Apache Indian midget named "Little Feather" who will help you settle in.

Shortly after arriving, you will be bitten by a snake, but do not worry; Little Feather is actually a medicine man who will save you. Before you can say "Geronimo" you'll be back on your feet again and ready to start working as a park ranger. There is one piece of troublesome news in the future, your trailer will become over-run by milkweed bugs forcing you to evacuate. This will actually be a good thing, because it will force you to camp out for a few days, where you will discover the fossilized remnants of a large aquatic community of fish. These are likely to be over 3 billion years old so treat them with care. Especially since one of them could be an ancestor of mine.

In the meantime, keep swimming upstream,

-Dr Wang

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"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, psychic betta fish "Dr Sidney Wang". Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature.

8 comments:

captain corky said...

Coming from someone that lives in Kentucky, all I have to say is, Run Matilda, run! LOL

Marlupe said...

Wow that's some career ahead of Matilda. I had no idea Dr Wang was so clairvoyant. I should have consulted him before I married my ex-husband.

Marlupe said...

Oh- and how about that Little Feather the Indian midget??? ROTFL so funny rick, so very funny.

zen wizard said...

"Big Bone Lick State Park is located in Boone County, Kentucky. It is located on Beaver Road and between the communities of Beaverlick and Rabbit Hash."

A truly challenging career might be high school athletics radio announcer.

Challenging because you would have to not laugh when Bone Lick plays Beaverlick, and--well, licks them.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Milkweed bugs!?

Palm Springs Savant said...

Whimsical, I know- that Dr Wang is just plain craz-eee!

Seamus said...

Has our piscatorial phenom been dipping into the Edward Abbey pool???

Canadian flake said...

Awwwwww Dr Wang...so wise and insightful..as always.

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