Today is a special double feature edition of "ASK DR WANG". Today's first letter is from a regular reader of this blog, who asked to remain anonymous...
Dear Dr Wang,
I have been struggling with a secret for several years that I have not shared with anyone else. I am at a point where I need some objective advice, and I figure a psychic fish is probably the most objective advice I'm going to find. Ten years ago I gave birth to a daughter and gave her up for adoption. I kept it a complete secret, took some time off in between changing jobs and at the time lived far away from my family. I was young and not prepared to be a mother or to have that degree of responsibility. I have been feeling increasingly guilty about this, and have already tracked down my daughter's location. She was never adopted, but is in foster care with her second set of parents. I desperately want to make contact with her, but I do not want to upset her by suddenly entering her life. Should I make contact with her or should I let go? If I do make contact, how do you think she will react?
Emotionally torn, Anonymous
Dr Wang responds: Dear Emotionally Torn,
While I am not a licensed psychofishologist, I must say, concealing a major personal event (such as the birth of a child) from everyone you know indicates a variety of issues that are best handled by a therapist. However, I have consulted The Great Bubble Wall in my tank to understand your situation and provide advice. You are more deeply troubled by this secret that you know. There are several issues at stake: Your desire to clear your conscious, your maternal instincts kicking in, and your desire to improve the quality of life for your daughter. It is very important that you follow legal procedures for appropriate contact of your daughter. You must resist temptation to contact your daughter on your own. The foster "mother" is a midget woman nicked-named "Bitty" who will be quite stand-offish at first. You should meet Bitty and her husband for dinner and be upfront and honest. Avoid ordering any seafood such as shrimp over dinner with Bitty, it will only make things more difficult.
It will take several months of meetings to establish some level of trust. Your daughter will have a difficult time adjusting to you entering her life. I suggest for your first meeting, you and Bitty should take her to the Aquarium and spend time with the dolphins. The dolphins will help you communicate with your daughter. You should buy a CD and learn both "Whale Song" and "Dolphin Talk". The other anxiety you must conquer is to be honest with your family and friends. The truth will set free the demons that posses you at the moment. Good Luck.
Keep Swimming Upstream,
-Dr WangDOUBLE FEATURE FOR THIS WEEK!
Today's second letter is from Joyce in Greenville, North Carolina....
Dear Dr Wang,
Two months ago I was on vacation in the Bahamas and met "Charlie" while snorkeling with some friends. We literally swam into each other and had lunch together that day. We ended up spending the rest of my vacation together and really hit it off. He lives in West Virginia but has said he wanted to spend more time together. We recently met up for a long weekend at my place and had a great time together. Do you see a potential serious relationship in my future with him?
Thanks for taking my letter, Joyce.
Dr Wang responds: Dear Joyce,
A relationship born under the sea? Sounds fishy to me. To be sure, I consulted The Great Bubble Wall for a glimpse into your future. It looks like your vacation was just dance, like a wave on the ocean, and were romanced. Steer clear of this guy, he is a shark and already has a life and relationship back in West Virginia. The next time you speak with him, ask him who "Shirley" is. See what he says, then you can respond: "Sorry Charlie", and then hang up forever.
Keep Swimming Upstream,
"Wisdom Wednesdays" features the sage advice of our resident oracle, Dr Sidney Wang. Believed to be a reincarnated descendant of King Rama II of Siam, Dr Wang responds to e-mail submissions with advice, predictions of the future and conveys ancient proverbs to provide guidance and support. Dr Sidney Wang's 24 Hour Wisdom, Advice and Inspiration service is also available from the left side navigation for this feature